Day 54 – The most difficult test.

So why is it so difficult to just sit and do nothing?

Absolutely nothing.

A clear mind.

Why does the mind fight this state so?

If this whole universe and everything in it is designed by some kind of energy, why would it have designed the mind to be so obdurate?

Imagine sitting down to design a universe.

I know, I shall make the human mind jump uncontrollably from one thought to the next like an excited schoolboy on his first trip away from home. Behind this perpetually jumping mind I shall hide the secrets of the universe. If someone wants to explore these secrets they must sit and become empty. This procedure will be fiendishly difficult to learn. I shall set up the whole universe as a temptation to pull the seeker away from the task. If he/she wants to progress they must give up all of their regular life activities; cut their ties to friends and family; give up tasty foods; even stop ejaculating.


Who could ever pass this test!

This is how it seemed to me as a beginner in meditation. But with regular effort and time and experience, things began to change. When one experiences the bliss of union with the light all these other worldly temptations fade in comparison. Perspective shifts. Greater insight into your life evolves.

I realised that normal people are actually the renunciants, chasing after money, power, fame, sex, validation, we miss out on lifes real meaning and splendor. We hurt ourselves and those we love the most, battling for these minor joys whilst totally blind to the love state of union. The yogi who at first appearance may seem to be the renunciant is actually the opposite. Normal people renounce the monsoon of higher states of bliss for the regular trickles of wordly ‘hapiness’.

Even after an amazingly profound and blissful light opening we still fall back into our daily habits of ego satisfaction.

I guess this is one of lifes paradoxes which the yogi must sit with.

4 thoughts on “Day 54 – The most difficult test.

  1. Howl away!

    I think it’s like any addiction, the cravings only last a short amount of time. If you can ride them out they will lessen.

    I have found that utilising the microcosmic orbit puts the extra energy to use and begins to open up new feelings and experiences which out shine a normal orgasm.

    Also, don’t be so hard on yourself. Sexual addiction is deemed normal in our society. It is not until you attempt to utilise that energy for other uses do you realise the extent of your own addiction.

    Well done! You are one of the few who are prepared to face this demon.

    It is very easy to give in, and lets face it, you probably will, but the resulting orgasm may seem much less satisfying than you imagine.

    I find that if you set yourself achievable goals and build up your resistance over time, it can get easier to harness the energy.

    Also use the cycles of the moon.

    If things get too much you could always practice some tantric techniques, taking yourself to the edge but not stepping over.

    In qi gong this technique is called, not letting the fowl out of the gate.

    Taking a tantric lover could be a good idea. ( let me know, am looking for one myself!) Though in my experience it becomes almost impossible to retain ones energy with a new lover. Tantric exercises take a while to work and alot of trust and experience. These things don’t come too easy. (pardon the pun.)

    But when they do! WOW! I have only managed to experience a higher mystical tantric state once. Me and my then partner were practising the micro cosmic orbit, in sync, with matched breathing, whilst in the act. I usually found it extremely difficult to maintain my concentration on the exercise and not just get into the sex. We did manage it one time, with super human will, we managed to get the energy circulating amazingly well. I felt I actually grew wings. For real. Real wings came out of my back. I was not expecting that. I figured this is where the idea of angels having wings comes from. I experienced a sort of trance state of bliss which seemed timeless.

    Hope these ideas help.

  2. I totally agree with the new feelings part. Suddenly I feel like the volume is turned right, whereas normally I try to dull it, sex fulfills that function pretty well. At the moment though the energy when almost makes me shake with its intensity! I’ll have to look into those tantric exercises thing. What is your challenge?

  3. New feelings part?
    I am struggling to understand your message, surprisingly, as your blog is so well written, it is the funniest blog I have yet come across.

    My challenge? Well, I could answer that question here, or, you could just read my blog 😉

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